Verse-by-Verse Commentary
The Book of 2 Samuel
Chapter 13: The Sword in David's House
The word of judgment begins to come to pass: 'the sword shall never depart from thine house.' Amnon's lust destroys his sister Tamar; Absalom's hatred smoulders two years and then murders Amnon; and the son flees into exile. David, once so decisive, grieves but does nothing, a father silenced by his own past.
About This Commentary
This is a verse-by-verse study of 2 Samuel chapter 13, a dark chapter handled soberly. For each section you will find the KJV text, the Hebrew words that sharpen the meaning, plain explanation, and a Gospel Focus. Here the consequences foretold to David begin to unfold within his own family. Every Scripture quotation is from the King James Version.
Amnon Violates Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-14)
Amnon's obsession, aided by a crafty friend, leads to the violation of his sister Tamar, despite her wise and righteous pleading.
Do Not Thou This Folly
"And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her."
Word Study
"folly," Hebrew nebalah (נְבָלָה), "senseless wickedness, disgraceful outrage." Tamar names the intended crime rightly: "do not thou this folly (nebalah)... thou shalt be as one of the fools (nabal) in Israel." Nebalah is no mere foolishness but moral outrage, the same word used of the vilest crimes in Israel. Her plea is wise, righteous, and brave: she appeals to God's law, to Amnon's honor, to her own ruin, even offering a lawful path, all to turn him from the sin. But the text is careful to show that what drove Amnon was never love. It calls it love at first (verse 1), but exposes it as lust: he was "vexed" and lovesick with desire, and the moment his desire was satisfied, "then Amnon hated her exceedingly." True love seeks the good of the beloved; lust seeks only its own gratification and, once fed, despises what it used. "Charity... seeketh not her own" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Amnon's nebalah is the bitter fruit of a lust indulged, aided by a "subtil" friend who counseled sin instead of restraining it, the worst kind of friend.
Explanation
Amnon, David's firstborn, is consumed with desire for his half-sister Tamar. His crafty cousin Jonadab, "a very subtil man," devises a scheme: feign illness and ask that Tamar come to nurse him. David, unsuspecting, sends Tamar to Amnon's house. When she has made food and they are alone, Amnon seizes her. Tamar pleads with all her wisdom and courage, naming the act as the outrage it is, warning of the shame and disgrace, even offering a lawful alternative, anything to stop him. But Amnon, "being stronger than she, forced her." The account is unsparing in its condemnation of Amnon and its dignity toward Tamar, who is shown as innocent, wise, and wronged. The sin that David committed in secret (chapter 11) now erupts, magnified, in his own son, the sword beginning to fall on his house as Nathan foretold.
Gospel Focus
This grievous account exposes the true nature of lust and warns of sin's spread. What Amnon called "love" was lust, self-seeking desire that, once satisfied, turned to hatred. The world constantly confuses the two, but Scripture does not: real love "seeketh not her own" and "worketh no ill to his neighbour" (Romans 13:10); lust uses and discards. The chapter also warns of the influence of ungodly counsel: Jonadab, the "subtil" friend, used his cleverness to enable evil rather than restrain it. "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed" (Proverbs 13:20). And behind it all lies the solemn truth that sin sown bears fruit, often in our own children and homes. David's private sin reappears, worse, in Amnon; the harvest of chapter 11 has begun. Let this drive us to hate lust, to choose righteous friends, and to flee the sin whose seeds we would not wish to see grow in those we love. Only the grace of Christ can break the entail of sin in a family and a heart.
Tamar Cast Out (2 Samuel 13:15-22)
Amnon's lust turns to hatred, Tamar is left desolate, and both David and Absalom fail to act.
Tamar Remained Desolate
"Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar."
Word Study
"desolate," Hebrew shamem (שָׁמֵם), "devastated, laid waste, appalled." "So Tamar remained desolate (shamem) in her brother Absalom's house." The word is used of ruined lands and devastated cities; it pictures a life laid waste. Tamar, innocent and wronged, bears the ruin while the guilty go on; she tears the royal robe of the virgin daughters and mourns with ashes, her future shattered by another's sin. The chapter lays bare a chain of failures around her. Amnon, having sinned, compounds it with cruelty, casting her out, "this evil in sending me away is greater than the other." David, hearing, "was very wroth" but did nothing, no justice, no discipline, perhaps silenced by the memory of his own sin. Absalom told her to "hold now thy peace" and quietly nursed a murderous hatred. So justice failed on every side, and the desolate one was left without a defender. It is a sobering picture of how the innocent suffer when those who should act, parents, leaders, protectors, are paralyzed by guilt, cowardice, or hidden agendas. Yet God is not indifferent; He is the defender of the desolate, "a father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows" (Psalm 68:5).
Explanation
Immediately after the crime, Amnon's desire curdles into loathing, "the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love", and he cruelly throws Tamar out and bolts the door. Her torn robe and ashes proclaim her ruin. Absalom takes her into his house but tells her to keep silent, already, it seems, planning his own revenge. David hears and is furious, but, tellingly, does nothing, no justice for Tamar, no discipline of Amnon. His own moral authority has been undermined by his sin; how can he judge in his son what he did himself? So Tamar remains "desolate," the innocent victim left without vindication, while Absalom's silent hatred hardens. The failure of the father to act as king and parent leaves a wound to fester that will, in time, erupt in blood.
Gospel Focus
Tamar's desolation, left unavenged by father and brother alike, is a grievous picture of the innocent who suffer when those charged to protect and to do justice fail. David's guilt seems to have silenced his voice; a conscience compromised loses its authority to correct. This warns every parent and leader: sin not dealt with in ourselves cripples our ability to lead others in righteousness. Yet the desolate are never truly forgotten by God, who is "a father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows," the defender of all who have no defender. When human justice fails, His does not; "he hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree" (Luke 1:52). And the Lord Jesus draws near to the ruined and the wronged, binding up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1). If you are a Tamar, laid waste by another's sin and left without an earthly defender, know that the God who sees will vindicate, and the Saviour who bore all our shame is near to the desolate.
Absalom Murders Amnon (2 Samuel 13:23-39)
After two years, Absalom takes his revenge, kills Amnon at a feast, and flees into exile.
Absalom Fled
"And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons. And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant. And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him. Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee? But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant. And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled. And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king's sons, and there is not one of them left. Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent. And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead. But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him. And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king's sons come: as thy servant said, so it is. And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king's sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore. But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead."
Word Study
"be courageous, and be valiant," Hebrew chizqu... bene chayil (חִזְקוּ... לִבְנֵי־חָיִל), "be strong... be sons of valour." The chilling irony is that Absalom uses the language of holy courage, "be courageous, and be valiant", to command a cowardly murder. The very words that should rally men to fight the LORD's battles (compare "be of good courage" in chapter 10) are here twisted to nerve assassins to kill a defenseless, drunken man. Evil constantly counterfeits the language of virtue, dressing vengeance as justice and murder as bravery. Absalom waited "two full years," letting his hatred ripen into a cold, calculated plot, this is not a crime of passion but of long premeditation. And so the sword falls again in David's house, exactly as Nathan said, "the sword shall never depart from thine house" (chapter 12:10). Absalom's private vengeance, however much Amnon deserved punishment, was not justice but murder, and it begins the son's long path to open rebellion. Vengeance seized by man's own hand only multiplies the ruin; "avenge not yourselves... Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Romans 12:19).
Explanation
Absalom bides his time. Two years later, at a sheepshearing feast, he maneuvers David into sending all the king's sons, including Amnon. He has already commanded his servants to kill Amnon on his signal, "when Amnon's heart is merry with wine." The deed is done, and the other sons flee in terror. A false report reaches David that all his sons are dead, and he collapses in grief, until the crafty Jonadab (who had helped start it all) coolly explains that only Amnon is dead, killed by Absalom's long-planned design for the rape of Tamar. The surviving sons return weeping. Absalom flees to his grandfather, the king of Geshur, and stays three years. David mourns, torn between grief and, in time, longing for the exiled Absalom. The house of David is now stained with a second murder, divided, and set on the road toward the rebellion to come.
Gospel Focus
The murder of Amnon shows how unaddressed sin breeds more sin, and how private vengeance only deepens the ruin. Amnon's crime cried out for justice, but Absalom's answer was not justice; it was murder, dressed in the language of valour and driven by hatred nursed for two years. The failure of David to judge righteously left a vacuum that Absalom filled with the sword. Here is the tragic outworking of "the sword shall never depart from thine house": sin forgiven still bore its temporal harvest, generation touching generation. The whole sad chapter magnifies the wisdom of God's way, "avenge not yourselves... give place unto wrath," and the necessity of dealing with sin honestly and in time, rather than letting it fester into greater evil. And it drives us to the only true remedy for the entail of sin: the grace of God in Christ, who alone can break the chain of vengeance and heal a broken house. Where human fathers fail, the heavenly Father redeems; where the sword divides, the Prince of Peace can reconcile.
Chapter 13 in Review
2 Samuel 13 begins the fulfillment of Nathan's word, "the sword shall never depart from thine house." Amnon, David's firstborn, lusts after his half-sister Tamar and, aided by the crafty Jonadab, violates her despite her wise and righteous pleading; then his lust turns to hatred and he casts her out desolate. David is furious but does nothing, his own sin having silenced his voice, and Absalom nurses a cold hatred. After two years, Absalom murders Amnon at a feast and flees into exile, leaving David to mourn a dead son and long for an exiled one. The house of David is now stained, divided, and set toward rebellion.
For the Apostolic reader, this sober chapter exposes lust as the counterfeit of love, self-seeking desire that turns to hatred once fed, and warns against the "subtil" friend who enables sin. It shows the tragedy of the innocent left desolate when those charged to protect and judge fail, while affirming that God is the defender of the desolate. And it displays the bitter harvest of sin across generations and the folly of private vengeance, driving us to God's way, "avenge not yourselves," and to the grace of Christ, the only power that can break the entail of sin and heal a broken house.
- Amnon's "love" was lust; it sought its own and, once fed, turned to hatred, love "seeketh not her own."
- Jonadab the "subtil" friend enabled evil; a companion of fools is destroyed, choose righteous counsel.
- Tamar was left "desolate" when father and brother failed; yet God is the defender of the desolate.
- Absalom's revenge was murder, not justice; the sword in David's house shows sin's harvest across generations.
Questions for Reflection
- Do you know the difference between love, which seeks another's good, and lust, which seeks its own?
- Do your friendships restrain you toward righteousness, or, like Jonadab, enable sin?
- Where might unaddressed sin be festering in your life or home, waiting, like Absalom's hatred, to erupt?
References & Sources
Scripture is quoted from the King James Version (KJV). The Hebrew terms are standard and can be checked in any Hebrew lexicon. Supporting passages are listed so every claim can be verified in its own setting. If anything here does not look right, a verse, a reference, or a wording, please tell us at info@FruitBearers.net. Thank you for helping us keep Bible Learning error free.
- Amnon's lust and the violation of Tamar; lust versus love; ungodly counsel: 2 Samuel 13:1-14; 1 Corinthians 13:4-5; Romans 13:10; Proverbs 13:20.
- Tamar left desolate; the defender of the wronged: 2 Samuel 13:15-22; Psalm 68:5; Luke 1:52; Isaiah 61:1.
- Absalom's revenge; the sword in David's house; leaving vengeance to God: 2 Samuel 13:23-39; 2 Samuel 12:10; Romans 12:19.